Social Emotional Intelligence Skills: "Name It to Tame It: The Power of Labeling Emotions"

What are you feeling right now, in this very moment? Perhaps you, like many others, thought about this and responded with “great” or “fine” or "not ba.We,pecially children, find it difficult to properly label the range of emotions we experience day to day. 😕😔😞

But why is this important?❓


When we’re experiencing uncomfortable emotions — whether it’s anxiety, anger, sadness, or frustration — it can be tempting to ignore what we’re feeling. We may try to push it down. We might think that acknowledging our emotions, by saying them out loud or writing them down, could make them grow in intensity, or make them last longer. We might be afraid that verbalizing our feelings will give them more power over us, but that’s not true. 😟😩😭


Putting feelings into words can actually reduce the force of unpleasant emotions. Dr. Dan Siegel coined this concept as "Name It to Tame It." By naming what we are feeling, we reduce the intensity of the emotion and feel less overwhelmed. 😌😊


Saying something as simple as “I feel bad,” (or anxious or sad or angry) out loud or in your head can help you to feel better. This has been proven in some groundbreaking neuroscience studies. Studies found that the act of turning unpleasant emotions into language disrupts and reduces activity in the amygdala, the part of your brain that responds to stress and fear. 🧠🔍📊


Another research found that labeling emotions increases activity in the brain’s prefrontal lobe – a part of the brain important for planning, logic, reason, and rational thinking. Labeling the emotion helps in feeling calmer and accessing the part of the brain that helps us make thought-out choices, rather than simply reacting to emotions. 🤔💭🧐


Looking away, numbing ourselves, and suffering in silence only makes things worse. Name it, don’t numb it. Just by saying the words ‘I feel bad,’ emotions return closer to their baseline. Naming our feelings can help reduce the intensity of our negative emotions. This is helpful to us all and can be encouraged from childhood - there are several kids' books that help our little ones name their feelings. 👶📚😊


THis is what we need to teach our children to assit them in regulationing their emotions. Mindfulness is a technique that involves paying attention to present moment experience – emotions, thoughts, and body sensations, such as breathing - without passing judgment or reacting to it. Mindfulness of emotions can help with soothing distress. TRy the following and teach it to your child. 


Recognize & Allow Emotion:
"Aha! I’m feeling…[angry/sad/scared]. It is OK, I can allow myself to have this feeling…I can make space for it…I don’t have to be afraid of it or try to get rid of it."


Watch Emotion:
"I can just watch this feeling and see what it does, I don’t have to get caught up in it. Let’s see, where do I notice the emotion in my body? This is just an emotion, just a feeling to be felt, nothing more and nothing less. I am not my emotions, I am the watcher of my emotions. The feeling is just like a…[ocean wave…I don’t need to fight the wave frantically…I can just go with the wave, letting it bob me up and down, or riding it into shore]"


Be Present:
"I will turn my attention back to the task I am doing now …noticing what I can feel…hear... see… smell… taste… OR I will turn my attention towards my breath…the breath being my anchor to the present moment…noticing each in breath and each out breath." Then focus on my task at hand.


Deal with Emotional Comebacks:
"I feel the emotion returning…that’s OK, that’s what emotions do, they like to rear their head again. I will just go back to watching it again…it is just another [ocean wave]."


Incorporating this practice into your life and life of your children can be transformative. Remember, the power of naming your emotions is not about giving them more control; it's about taking control of your emotional well-being. So, the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, try saying those simple words: "I feel [insert emotion]," and watch the magic of 'name it to tame it' unfold. 🎉

Happy parenting your children....and yourself. 💖🧑🏾‍🎓