🦋Attachment: 4 basic ingredients: "Four S's: seen, safe, soothed, secure......

🦋🦋

🌈The concept of the "Four S's" stands out as a framework for understanding how healthy relationships and minds are formed. These Four S's — "Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure" — delve deep into the fundamental elements that shape our emotional well-being and our interactions with the world around us. These are essential ingredients parent-child relationship and the development of the child.

🌷1. Safe:

Feeling safe is a fundamental human need that forms the cornerstone of emotional health and resilience. When individuals feel safe, whether in their relationships or environments, they are better equipped to explore, learn, and express themselves authentically. For children, feeling safe is crucial for healthy brain development, enabling them to form secure attachments and navigate the challenges of life with greater confidence.

😍2. Seen:

To feel "seen" is to experience genuine recognition and validation from others. When we feel seen, we develop a sense of being valued and accepted for who we are. This concept highlights the importance of active listening and empathy in building strong relationships. When individuals feel seen, they are more likely to develop a positive self-image and engage in healthy social interactions.

🙏3. Soothed:

Emotional regulation is a skill that contributes significantly to mental well-being. Being "soothed" refers to the ability to manage and calm intense emotions, often with the help of supportive relationships or self-soothing techniques. When people are soothed during times of distress, it not only promotes emotional resilience but also reinforces the sense of safety and security within relationships.

🪴4. Secure:

A "secure" attachment style forms the basis for healthy relationships and emotional well-being. Securely attached individuals tend to trust their relationships, express their needs openly, and navigate conflicts with a greater sense of confidence.

How often do I hear people in therapy saying "I am not enough", "I do not like myself" That then always takes us to childhood attachments. Often so sad and filled with pain, guilt and regret. This marks the start of a long journey of healing.

By understanding and integrating the Four S's in parenting we can contribute to the development of resilient children and individuals who are better equipped to navigate life.

❓How to create safety as a parent: • First, do no harm: Make a commitment that you won’t be the source of fear in your home. • Repair, repair, repair! When there’s a breach in your relationship with your child, reconnect as soon as possible and apologize if necessary. • Create within your home an overall environment of safety and well-being. Communicate routine verbally and virtually.

❓How to help child feel seen.

• Let your curiosity lead you: Simply observe your kids. Take the time to look and really understand what’s going on with them, discarding preconceived ideas and avoiding snap judgments. • Make space and time to look and learn: Generate opportunities that allow your kids to show you who they are. Create space for conversations that take you more fully into their world so you can learn more about them.

❓How to promote inner-soothing: • Build a calming internal toolkit: Before emotional situations arise, work with your child to develop simple tools and strategies to help him calm himself like breathing, find safe space. • Offer your P-E-A-C-E: When your kids are upset, give them your presence, engagement, affection, calm, and empathy.

❓How to promote secure space: • Invest in a relational trust fund: Each time your kids need you and you show up, the trust in the relationship increases. You make a deposit in the relational trust fund. • Teach mindful skills: Teach your children to show up for themselves when they need to feel more secure. Provide them with the gift of mindfulness, which helps them better understand themselves as well as another person’s.

📞Contact me for online therapeutic services. +27 762271578 (WhatsApp)